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Spirituality in Speech
Spirituality in Speech
gentle tone. Instead you should say, "I am requesting you to please do this much for me!" Include a few extra words.
Questioner : What should we do when we have a big argument at home?
everywhere. Do you like it if a door keeps slamming in the wind?
Questioner : No.
Dadashri : So how would you like it when people quarrel? You do not like it even when dogs fight.
Dadashri : A wise person would not get into an argument even if he was offered a hundred thousand dollars, and here people clash without getting anything. In order to discharge his karmas, Lord Mahavir had to leave home and go into the wilderness where uncivilized and abusive people lived in order to look for penance, whereas people today are very fortunate to find such penance in their own homes! Such situations are very beneficial towards your spiritual progress, provided you use them towards your benefit.
At home you should give advice only if you are asked for it. God has called it egoism to give advice without being asked. When the husband asks, 'Where shall I place this cup?' and the wife says, 'Put it there.', then he should place it there. But instead he will counteract, 'You don't have any sense of placements. What a place to put this cup!' So then she will respond, 'I have no sense that is why I told you. Now use your sense! When will such interference stop? These are all clashes of situations only.
All these quarrels are the results of past karmas. Nevertheless, you must refrain from saying anything wrong. Keep the matter inside you and restrain yourself in your speech, whether you are at home or outside. Many women will claim they would rather their husbands slapped them, than say hurtful things to them. Just imagine what kind of speech it is, which although does not physically touch them, it wounds them deeply.
Man can be so awkward. He remains silent if he is hurt accidentally outside his home and yet in the home he deliberately exerts his authority as a husband. He then pays for his aggression in his old age when his wife does not heed him. Instead why not simply stay within your limits? People should not quarrel in their homes. If they want to they can quarrel outside. Women should do the same.
Questioner : Can it still be considered a conflict-free home if a person does not say anything, but harbors everything in his mind?
Dadashri : That is a greater conflict. There will always be discord when the mind is unsettled and when a person says, "I feel uneasy in the mind," that is a sign of conflict. Conflict varies in its intensity. The more intense ones will even lead a person to have a heart attack. Some people speak in such a way that it shocks the other person and stops the heart.
Questioner : When someone deliberately throws away something important, how should we adjust to that situation?
Dadashri : It may be an object that is being thrown
Questioner: But not everyone's intellect is the same, Dada! People do not think alike. Even if we do something good, they do not understand. What should we do?
Dadashri : It is not like that. Everyone can understand thoughts but everyone believes that their thinking is right and others are wrong. People do not have any awareness at all. No one knows how to enquire. Even as human beings they have no sense. They think that just because they have a college degree, they know everything. But if they had any sense, they would not clash with anyone and they would know how to adjust
