Book Title: Monks Dilemma
Author(s): S M Jain
Publisher: ABD Publisher

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Page 7
________________ 14 Monks 'Dilemma Monks' Dilemma | 15 and closer almost to the point of locking his lips with hers. Deepti had been awake since his first tightening squeeze but deliberately pretended to be asleep, enjoying the hug and closeness, but she suddenly feared and realised that they were not alone and the driver might be watching. Pretending waking up she removed her head from his shoulders and moved away to a safe distance. She apologised for giving him the trouble by resting her head on his shoulders for so long and said, "I am sorry, I felt very sleepy as I could not sleep for even two hours last night and got up very early to prepare breakfast and lunch." Deepak was numb and dumb with a sense of profound shame on his face. He never thought that he could go to that extent. His righteous and religious upbringing had etched an indelible moral code of conduct in his psyche which forbade any sort of scintillating physical contact. In the cultural milieu he had grown up under the guardianship of his pious parents till he completed his education up to higher secondary, did not permit any premarital and extramarital relationship and even brothers and sisters and cousins were not allowed exclusive company. The prescribed ideal code of conduct also cautioned that the external situations and other factors such as the type of people with whom one is associated with one is also very important. One should avoid such situations and company which may tempt one to go astray from the right path. As a matter of fact, it is all external influence that conditions the life style and habits of every one. The environment of the family, social contacts, peers relationships, school, college, profession or any other factor, are all important. There are examples of persons brought up in a very pious and ideal environment getting spoiled in future when in the college and subsequently when in profession according to the company they are with, to the extent of throwing away all morals and good conduct and succumbing to drinking, meat eating, gambling, womanising, drugs etc which were forbidden taboos in their families. It is the environment that generates all sorts of emotions and moulds every one. Deepti felt that she might have offended him and asked, "What has happened? Why are you turning pale? What is wrong? Did you not like my putting my head on your shoulder? I have apologised and have said sorry." Deepak, "It is nothing on your part. I am ashamed of my own action. I deliberately put my hand around you with no other intention but only to stop you slipping and to let you have good sleep." (he lied). Deepti understood his predicament and that he was experiencing a guilt complex. She knew that he was lying and his conscience was pricking him. She consoled him, "You did nothing wrong. You rather helped me to sleep well and get over my fatigue. I am really thankful to you. I was fast asleep and did not even know that you put any pressure on my arm. Please be normal. We have come to enjoy and not to be gloomy at all. There should not be any misunderstanding between us. We have always been helpful and cooperative and have never been the cause of trouble or discomfort to each other." Such a calculated consolation from Deepti assured Deepak that Deepti was not at all aware of his advances and immoral demeanour on his part. He tried to come out of his self inflicted pitiable plight and tried to be composed and normal. To divert the topic and the stalemate he asked the driver,

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